No doubt in a relationship the hardest blow that this can receive is a partner betrays the other's trust, engaging in an adventure, be it whatsoever, this can have a devastating effect on a relationship. With any logic you could say that the person concerned is which misled, however this is not always the case, as the person I deceit has many personal changes to make if he or she choose to continue the relationship was pointed breaking. This process of healing the relationship or are saving is basically a emotional process and requires real work of the two parties involved in a relationship. In these cases the reconciliation process and having a healthy relationship again is very difficult, though not impossible.
To be in such a situation, the first thing to do is decide if it's worth saving the relationship. Develops in the most objective way a list of reasons why you would stay in the relationship or why you would not try to save her.
Consider the reasons for reconciliation can be very different for people who are just living a romance or young couples, unlike those with 25 years of marriage. However, the degree of seriousness of a relationship makes it no less painful fact suffer a deception
Thus you should carefully consider why you want to stay in this relationship.
Remember that many people would be in an adversarial relationship for fear of being alone or because they simply feel they could not find another person who comes to love, being a self-esteem issue and shortage of self confidence.
Remember that this decision may also depend on whether it is the first time the deception or the fact deceived and became a routine, which could hechar tatters reasons to try to save the relationship
If you believe in your relationship, always try to project yourself is what you expect from the relationship, and avoid falling into the routine of deception only by competition, retaliation or revenge; not because it is a situation of who is hurting more other, as this will only denigrates one pudiéndola relationship lead to intolerable limits, and creating resentment and very difficult pain to forget, so do not be fooled and influence by a destructive pattern that makes you feel that you have to fight for your relationship.
It is always appropriate to talk about their feelings and have the willingness to be willing to listen to others, which is achieved with much work about. Remember that when you try to save your relationship because you still believe that this is possible, there are many things to resolve when dealing with problems caused by infidelity involved, because when you've been cheated first thing you want to know is why, to what which is vital to know that maybe never know the real reason why your partner is cheating.
If you were the victim of a deception, it is important that you comment your partner how you feel because of the situation, because these feelings afrerrarte not help. recalls that the author of deception in a relationship need to know what their actions have affected you; if you express feelings of pain, shame, resentment, anger, since these are stages that you have to spend after being victim of deception.
At first you will feel very hurt and maybe you feel desire to mourn, however surpassed this stage for the impact of the news, want to know the why and even feel you have to understand both the situation to the extent that some blame themselves for the fact. Then you'll probably feel a lot of anger. But do not forget that all these feelings are completely natural and expected and could even feel them several times while you try to heal this pain
Now if you were the one that caused the problem, you must be prepared to listen to your partner. Do not try to make excuses or try to excuse your actions, as this may cause even more pain to your partner and can make it worse, reaching a point that reconciliation more difficult. Avoid saying that what they did was wrong to take you to deception, because you made the decision to cheat and no one forced him to do so, it is important to assume the attitude to assume your responsibility.
Do not forget that cheating is a symptom of problems in a relationship, because many times people make the mistake of infidelity and focus to this as the main problem; however in most relationships where cheating occurs, there is usually a background of family problems that dragged on for a considerable time. Remember that for your relationship to be successful you have to work at it steadily and also you should always talk to your partner about the problems that arise and try to solve them together.
So if you really want to solve a problem of infidelity, remember that honesty is very important when talking to your partner about the problem factor. Talk honestly and openly about the things they did to stay away from the relationship, always trying to understand these reasons are not excuses, but they are signs you have to work and you should find out the exact cause that originated . as it is very common if you feel neglected in any way or feel that your partner do not pay enough attention to the relationship, this may be a reason why you have sought care in someone else, but now you must think how to correct this , for which maybe you could talk to your partner about how you feel and plan to spend more time together.
If it is important that you cheated assume your responsibility, facing the consequences of your actions; do not try to justify as it is very easy to blame others in such situations. Remember that you did this willingly and nobody forced you to do.
If you were deceived must learn to forgive and forget, as one of the most important parts of a reconciliation is forgiveness. because if you made the decision to continue the relationship, you have to work a lot with your attitude to forgive and not hold grudges. it is likely that you feel hurt for long, and that this feeling will not disappear from one day to another, and you should stop doing your job to the time factor, however what if you can do is avoid throw in face a couple days , weeks, months or years, and it only achieved the wound is fresh, and you and your partner were to overcome this.
It is true that rebuilding trust in a relationship is not easy and usually takes much time and effort on the part of the two, however this should be a consistent work that manages to overcome the tough situations that will be presented during this period but remember it's all part of the process. It is also important to objectively discover that you can not overcome deceit, whereupon you better consider other alternatives, and it would not be fair to either suffer in the future because of past damage, and if the case simply make the decision and ends the relationship